Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Or does it?
This is a series post about things I learned in relationships, how you should act and what types of people aren’t good for a healthy relationship.
I already made 2 parts about it, and if you want to see it feel free! 🙂
Does this story gives you a “How I met your mother” vibe?
But lets face it, mine is probably a lot shorter because I don’t want to talk about every day that I spent with those people haha
Cyber boyfriend or just an illusion of a person that is right for me :
So my next mistake was actually when a friend of mine introduced me with Hentai facebook group. I was a huge weeaboo few years ago. The group was ment for people to post different kind of anime pics, and I did that as well. That’s were a guy that was (I think) 6/7 years older then me texted me, he was finishing his studies for philosophy and I was still in high school. I must admit, he was really good with his words haha. So we started talking once in a while, and then more and more, whenever we could. His words and the way he talked were very well put together, he knew what he was doing. We were even sexting few times, which was strange for me cause I didn’t know anything about it. The whole conversation very shortly turned into a “50 Shades of gray” story cause we both like that kind of stuff, for me it was always so fascinating im not sure why, maybe im just weird like that haha. After 1,5 months of texting we decided to meet for the first time. I was scared a lot, if its real or if its something that our imagination just did for us. We just went on a coffee, it was only talking, he was acting like a gentleman to me and it was nice to feel like someone wants you for what you are and is not pushing you into something.
But I still felt bad, im not sure why, I didn’t feel like I could live one day with a person like him. There was something that wasn’t drawing me to him when I saw him in real life. I guess that my imagination did something. He was like Mr. Grey, professional and knew what he was doing, his words were like cherries on top of a milkshake, simply delicious. The date was over, we had to say our good byes, I wanted to just hug him because I didn’t see myself in that relationship. He had his hand behind my neck, and slowly pulled my hair down and towards him to kiss me, it was terrible to be honest. We went home, I got a text from him, he wrote me a poem, a poem about his love to me. Maybe I am a bad person, I told him how I was feeling about everything and then I never saw him again. I still to this day wonder what attracted me to him in all those texts and why it was so different. Was my brain messing up with me? What actually happened? Did all that (sex)texting messed up the reality? I shall never know. I just knot that the texting was much different then the real life talking.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Well, im not actually sure what is the moral of this story, this was a spontaneous meeting of a person that was everything I ever desired and fantasized over texting, but his nature was too harsh for me, he was acting dominant all the time, and that is a turn on, but only in bed guys 😉 no one wants a bossy person face it.
And, there is time and place for everything, one of free things that we got is time, sometimes its good to go slow and actually meet a person.
SEEKING A HEALER OR A POSSIBLE LOVE:
Hopefully I wont get much judgement on this one. This is the oldest person I was in a relationship with. He and I were around 1,5 months together and there was no reason for the break up. We just one day stopped texting and no one said anything so we just left it on that and never said anything to each other ever again. You are asking what was the age difference? It was 12 or 13 years.
We met in a gaming caffee, we were playing this game called League Of Legends. He was screaming everytime he died in it and I asked him to stop screaming cause they wont hear him through the PC, he laughed at it and that’s were we started to talk, he looked like he was my age but he wasn’t, so I mistook him as a guy around my age, and we started to talk, everything starts with talking can you see the pattern here? Haha maybe that is my problem with finding a true match lol
So back to the story, when I met him that day he broke up with his girlfriend and I was confused cause of the last guy, so I guess it wasn’t actually a real relationship, it was more seeking attention from each other to heal faster I guess, we just talked, and kissed, no sex or anything, it actually helped me to get over every person before, he had a different point of view that helped me a lot to heal, to try to find myself again. And I am happy that ive met him actually cause he told me a lot about relationships, how to act and how to respect my significant other.
Trust in relationships should be like Spongebobs and Patricks trust:
Spongebob ”What if I break your trust one day”
Patrick “Trusting you is my decision, proving me wrong is yours”
So that is the moral of the story as well, if one person breaks your trust, it doesn’t mean that the next one will do that too, I know that it might me though to trust again, but hey, look at me, my experience didn’t break me, it made me much stronger 🙂 and I think that by now I know every type of person out there, and I still believe in love and all.
And who ever said that there is one person for you out there was wrong, there is more then one, you just need to find one of them.
I think that this blog is helping me to get some things out of my chest, I always wanted only one boyfriend, only one love and only one everything, but that didn’t happened, I was used and I forgot even how to love on few occasions, but I tried to fix myself, and yes, no one else was there for me, no one will help you when you fall guys, only you can help yourself sadly.
The most important thing that I have learned in my life at my young age was how to pick myself up after everything and anything.
And you should learn how to do it yourself, cause it doesn’t matter how hard you fall but how fast you get up and clean your self up.